How Long to Read I Don't Want

How Long Does it Take to Read I Don't Want?

It takes the average reader 2 hours and 32 minutes to read I Don't Want by Isaac Simpson

Assuming a reading speed of 250 words per minute. Learn more

Description

"People will lieabout what they've readwhen it's something you've written."- Isaac Simpson Some of the lies I'd tell about reading this book would include the phrases "Good job," "You have a real talent for poetry," and "I would like to read more!" This collection reminds me of sixth grade, where I composed a poem that rhymed "suicide" and "cyanide." My teacher scrawled "very descriptive imagery" in a green pen at the bottom of my preteen doggerel, which is sixth grade English instructor terminology for "hacky teenage angst." If I were to blurb this book, it would also read "Very descriptive imagery!" Much like pimply suburban boys scribbling sad tales, Isaac Simpson is also obsessed with people taking in and expelling bodily fluids. I estimate 80% of his poetry references somebody pissing, puking, or producing semen. One poem is about rich people using the urine of the homeless as a perfume, which I assume is a metaphor for the working class affectations of the bourgeoisie. To read Isaac Simpson is to know what it smells like near a bus stop. Other mysterious fluids are evoked, such as when Isaac writes of "j****** off into the toilet, missing, wiping off strings of yellow half-Jewish j***." Why is it yellow? Is the idea that instead of producing something necessary like semen, he's just spurting out gross pus? Later on there's "This water tastes like a rusty subway bar,/my self sits on the edge of its couch." What the f*$& does this mean? Why would water taste like a subway bar? What the f&$# is a "subway bar?" Does he mean a subway pole? Subway poles are gross but not particularly rusty. Subways smell like piss! It's as though an alien came to Earth and tried to pass off its rudimentary but incorrect understanding of Earth potables in the form of sub-Bukowski banalities. I don't think I bothered to read anything by Tim Barnett, he of the ASCII art poems. Perhaps this is unfair to ASCII art, at least those elaborate designs have a purpose to their form. The proportion of time spent designing the layout of the writing versus the writing itself seems far too out of balance to be worth investigating further. Oh well! As for the work of Spencer Gauthier, it is telling that he is credited under Spencer M de Gauthier-StGermain. Using your name like a Grow Monster that gets fancier the longer it sits in the water is such an obvious sign of insecurity that if it appeared in a work of fiction it would be criticized for being too heavy-handed. At the conclusion of this paragraph, I assume whatever-his-name-is will have developed another hyphenate. Returning to my initial analogy of teenage boys writing dreck, the childish rhyming schemes and continual topic drift is reminiscent of high school English class poetry units, where bitter, failed novelists attempt to inspire their charges by instructing them to compose their own poems, but said students, being teenagers, instead produce such offal as: "Sikhs have beardsAnd so did Ernest HemingwayBut mine is a Yid's Which is of course the best there is With the availability of any cuisineLife here is an incredible dreamI have my pick of many types of hand cream." Was that written by a fifteen year old struggling to meet a word count requirement, or a grown man writing something for this book? Which answer is more upsetting? Circling back to Isaac Simpson, the composition most evocative of the collective effort expressed here is from "Mellors," a tribute, of sorts, to going on a desert campout with your friends to do peyote, a basic-ass activity Simpson has dressed up in what I'm sure he thinks is gritty language and metaphor. Wasn't there an episode of The Sopranos that already covered this ten years ago? If there is a constant in which these authors can take solace, it is that there is always an audience for such affected cool guy onanism. Maybe this audience is you!

How long is I Don't Want?

I Don't Want by Isaac Simpson is 148 pages long, and a total of 38,184 words.

This makes it 50% the length of the average book. It also has 47% more words than the average book.

How Long Does it Take to Read I Don't Want Aloud?

The average oral reading speed is 183 words per minute. This means it takes 3 hours and 28 minutes to read I Don't Want aloud.

What Reading Level is I Don't Want?

I Don't Want is suitable for students ages 10 and up.

Note that there may be other factors that effect this rating besides length that are not factored in on this page. This may include things like complex language or sensitive topics not suitable for students of certain ages.

When deciding what to show young students always use your best judgement and consult a professional.

Where Can I Buy I Don't Want?

I Don't Want by Isaac Simpson is sold by several retailers and bookshops. However, Read Time works with Amazon to provide an easier way to purchase books.

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